"THE IRONY DAWNS"
I was sitting in my glider last night (not exactly tied to when it is posted on the blog :- )) . . . deeply thankful that the day's wicked "HEAD THING" had lifted. If you have not yet experienced those or do not know what they are, think . . . A MIGRAINE on steroids. It's a head crushing, excruciating, head-imploding event that puts migraines to shame.
Alas, they are a many-splendored thing - meaning they hold many facets and purposes and origination points. But in the end it all boils down to some energetic dissonance tied to frequencies - a difference in vibration, usually a massive one - between your physical form, your soul or essence, and some other being or energy field.
We're not going to delve into all that here, other than to say . . .. it is something you are PROFOUNDLY & DEEPLY grateful for when it ends. ;- )
As I sat there, I realized this amazingly DEEP & PALPABLE PEACE was there - surrounding me. I haven't felt something quite that potent and deep and . . . TOUCHABLE, really . . . since I first moved into this house - 19 years ago!
I met a special being in a very special way, months after our move here - Granny The Whale. She was the matriarch for her kind, living in the Puget Sound waters nearby and well . . . she paid me a visit I shall NEVER, EVER forget. I knew she had arrived because what I noticed was THIS DEEP, INEXPLICABLE PEACE all around me. (And that was soooooo not me at that time in my life, if you know what I mean!)
It was something so big and powerful you could almost reach out and touch it. And it moved with me as I moved through my day through the house. Sound crazy? Magical even? Oh, you have no idea!!! Especially since I had no idea what it was - and had at that point never come close to experiencing such a thing before. But that's a whole other story, which I've already written and shared years ago.
So let's turn back to last night. I noticed this incredibly DEEP PEACE. And I realized it was not just OUTSIDE OF ME - but it was originating from WITHIN ME. I'm a peaceful person - now. ;- ) Sensitive to energies, yes, but my inner center is almost always calm and peaceful. Like the depths of an ocean that remains undisturbed by, even unaware of, the turbulence of the waves crashing and swirling above, on the surface.
That's how you know you're in touch with your spirit/essence/soul - or whatever you might like call it - if you were curious about that. But this was different. It was even bigger than that. It was deeper. And it was something else. Something . . . MORE PROFOUND.
As I sat there, I realized I was sensing something ELSE. Something layered, rising like steam on top of THE PEACE. I had this intense, yet peaceful, sense of SOMETHING BIG. Something BIG was about to be. It was coming - happening - preparing.
To be honest, that's not unusual, by any means, here in my world. My husband will tell you, with a straight face and deadly serious, that I almost always know THE BIG THINGS about to hit this world. It's almost as if they pass through me first. To the extent that I used to spend the whole night lying awake trying to KNOW WHY. (I never, ever, ever ask that question these days. I will tell you why in another post, just for fun! ;- )).
It's a blessing - or a curse - as you can imagine. I have chosen (and, to be quite honest, learned the hard way) to see it as a gift. Interestingly, the hardest part of that is learning NOT TO TRY TO CHANGE IT (to not intrude or interfere in whatever is coming). But instead, to hold the space for it with all my might, to receive it in a space of deep peace and complete love.
That's a tall order - trust me, I know just how tall! But that is my path and it is our practice in this house . . . whether it be death or illness, nature or geological destruction.
So back to last night. What struck me as truly REMARKABLE in that moment last night was this dawning sense of . . . IRONY.
Here I was, sitting in the very midst of A GLOBAL PANDEMIC!!!!!!!!!! - and - SOCIAL LOCKDOWN, thank you very much! And I'm peacefully sensing SOMETHING . . . EVEN BIGGER . . . than that ?!!?!?!?
Is it possible to be in something AS BIG as a pandemic - and yet sense that something even bigger IS COMING? Try that. Try to imagine THAT FEELING, that . . . DAWNING. It's hard. Because our minds simply cannot fathom it without A LOT OF WORK. And even then, our mind might easily implode and dive for cover.
Now, those of you who may at this moment be steeped in fear and distress, while we are in that very pandemic . . . might find this story to be scary. But it's not. Not at all. In fact, it's just THE OPPOSITE.
Remember what I said I WAS SENSING FIRST - that deep peace? It shows me that whatever THE BIG THING brewing actually IS . . . whether it be personal or regional or global, nearby or far away, something visible or invisible . . . IT IS SOMETHING TO BE MET with A PEACEFUL HEART.
That PEACE I was feeling was coming from my own CENTER. This is the "space" I often refer to as My Soul, or My Essence, or even My Sacred Heart. It is the purest part of me - and where I can always find the highest state of MY BEING.
I have felt that way about this virus pandemic, too - from the very beginning. Yes, it could take my loved ones (my mother who is in her 80's, her husband who just had a 2-month bout with pneumonia, my mother-in-law in an assisted living center who is in her late 80's and 3,000 miles away, my siblings who both have lung and respiratory issues.) It could take me, my truly adored and beloved husband, or dear and deep friends. It could erase our retirement funds and completely dissolve our financial situation and push it over the brink. IT COULD DO A LOT OF THINGS.
But from the very beginning, I have felt this really deep inner peace about it. And still do.
And perhaps that is the point - at least for me - at least for right now. NO matter what the future brings, I'M AT PEACE. I feel a strong inner sense that MY ESSENCE is well-prepared for, and openly receiving, whatever it is.
Because whatever it all turns out to be . . . I believe every single event holds LIGHT and the power for us to transform . . . and to create within it something better. SOMETHING EVEN WONDERFUL.
Nature lives this lesson before our very eyes, every single day. Mother Nature regularly brings storms and destruction into her realm, and then uses them to create anew something in its place - almost always at a higher frequency. She's not cruel - she's WISE. There's a difference. And she responds in the same way if destruction is brought upon her by us. She understands something profound - life is created BY LIGHT. And so the potential for re-creation in a higher and better expression of that light is always there . . . INSIDE OF HER.
We hold that same power - though we are far less adept at using it. We rarely give new creations the time to birth, when the rug has just been pulled out from under us. And we almost always choose to look backward . . . and try to re-create some version of what was . . . instead of what is best next to be.
Mother Nature IS wise. Where I live, on the slope of a steep hillside, developers sliced and diced and bulldozed nearly every green thing out of existence, except at the very bottom of the hill where it meets water. The powers that be felt the need to enforce some environmental regulation THERE, though one wonders why there and not above.
Now, in HER wisdom, Mother Nature did not immediately insist upon trying to replace what was there originally - forested evergreen firs, cherries and willows, to name a few. No, instead she sent in what others may even see as "invasive" and "weed" trees and other plants and shrub seeds. Why?
Because the indigenous plants could not easily grow nor thrive in the destruction wrought upon the land and soil and slope. So she sent in a first aid crew, intermediaries who could and would, over time, do the quick work of repairing the soil and holding the hillside more rapidly. Then, she would send in seeds of what used to be - or germinate the ones left behind . . . but only when she had prepared the devastated land to receive them, only when they could SURVIVE and THRIVE once the other plants had transformed the soil on their behalf.
And they HAVE thrived! So much so that a few decades later, a lot of people cut out those beautiful trees, or trim them abusively, so they can see the water below - doing so in a way that will surely eventually weaken them and they will die. But, as in most things in life, things you do for the good of your self at the cost of others, almost always come back to haunt . . . YOU. (And that's a whole other post coming - INTENTION matters!) House foundations and slopes are tricky, erosion and shifts occur, rarely noticed - and before you know it, people are wondering where all the instability around their homes and foundations is coming from. And the answer? Look in the mirror.
The point to my story of Mother nature is that when devastation HITS US, whatever form it takes - in my own life I have learned that the hardest thing for us to choose is to BE AT PEACE . . . in the depths of that vast unknown. And to not rush into striving and clawing our way back to some semblance of what was our life - our path - our believed purpose here on earth. But rather, to be able to stand in THE DEEP UNKNOWN and wait. To honor the power of what just washed through our lives and then - in time - to feel the still and quiet pull inside of us to move in a new direction.
It is when we can use THE MOST POWERFUL MOMENTS in our lives to let go of the steering wheel . . . and step into an invisible guiding light within ourselves . . . that we can move through storms with a deep and incredible peace. And that PEACEFULNESS is critical to us creating our best path forward. Why? Because it removes or holds at bay all the usual suspects and responses which can overtake us, if we let them - those formed within lower vibrations, usually all some form of fear.
IF WE CAN STEP INTO - and cultivate consciously - that DEEP PEACE within ourselves as we survey first the devastation and damage, and then ultimately the open space before us - we step into AN AMAZING INNER POWER.
For it is here that we can begin to sense and feel, to heed and to honor, a powerful inner ability we all have: TO MOVE FORWARD in ways that create a deeper inner alignment with our soul or essence. She knows our path forward in ways we cannot consciously, and in ways our minds would never perceive nor imagine.
But there is another reason to consciously choose and openly strive TO STEP INTO this space within ourselves. It is here that our deeper gifts and abilities can be activated in order to help us to BRING FORTH our next best life. The one that is truer and more authentic and reflects more clearly . . . WHO WE TRULY ARE. OUR INNER LIGHT is just waiting to step forward and BE the strongest voice in our daily lives.
I believe, whatever comes, we are about to be given an opportunity to choose once more WHO WE TRULY ARE - and WISH TO BE. And I encourage each of us to give that moment our very best - by cultivating a deeper peace, both inside and outside of ourselves. This one act will give us more clarity, more stability, and more power . . . than anything you can likely imagine.
And it is THE ONE THING we all have full control over right now: THE MOMENT TO MOMENT CHOICES we make, inwardly and outwardly, about what our thoughts - our expectations - our beliefs . . . are going to be. They BECOME what WE . . . . CHOOSE.
It's ironic to think of something bigger coming - surely A PANDEMIC is plenty big enough for us all! But whether something else comes, or not, this moment is our best most powerful time: THE TIME WHEN WE CHOOSE . . . an inner peace that allows our inner gifts and abilities to rise to the surface of our lives like never before. Or something else.
You know where I intend to land :- ), or at least am choosing consciously to focus all my thoughts, emotions, and energies. The only question left is . . . WHERE ARE YOU CHOOSING TO BE?